Monday, July 27, 2009

To Serve or Be Served

When I first started staying home with the boys after Wyatt was born, I was so grateful to be a stay at home Mom that the mundane dailiness of my life stage rarely bothered me. I LOVED getting to be home with my boys and having spent almost two years trying to balance working and taking care of Stacey III (I got to have him with me at work, but it was still challenging) I knew full well the privilege and gift it was to GET to be at home and could easily shake off thoughts of, "what about me?" and "it's not fairs" that would try to creep in.

I'm not sure if it is that I am a little more removed from that place of gratitude or if it is just the current challenges of my boys or perhaps Satan just trying that much harder to discourage me (probably a combo of all three and other things I haven't even thought of) but those little thoughts and attitudes have taken up residence and rear their ugly heads WAY to often.

A few weeks ago after a rough day with the boys and at the very end of my (often very short) rope I stumbled upon a blog post about service. I don't know the blogger and I don't know exactly how I ended up on her blog, but her words were a huge encouragement and challenge to me.

The bottom line was this, I don't want to serve I want to be served. I don't want to discipline, explain, repeat myself, pick up Lighting McQueen and his 100 man posse, clean yogurt off the floor, change diapers etc. I would however like to check my email, put my feet up and watch my DVRed SYTYCD, work out, run errands with ease and play without having to referee. I don't want to serve I want to be served. Pretty simple but a serious battle that I find myself fighting these days.

Don't get me wrong I LOVE being a Mother and consider it my life's greatest gift, I know my boys will be men in a blink and try to cherish every precious minute I have with them I also would NEVER want to trade my life with them for a life of leisure, but some days those facts get buried under my selfishness.

I've been doing Beth Moore's Esther study this summer and enjoyed the powerful story of Christ's transformation of the Jew's mourning, fasting weeping and wailing to happiness, joy, gladness and honor. Likewise, I am praying that He will continue to turn my selfishness into service as I daily submit myself to His service!!

Christ was the ultimate example of a servant and I know that by serving my little monkeys, even in the most mundane of activities, I am serving Him. So tomorrow when I am picking up Lightning McQueen and his fraternity of friends (as I inevitably will be doing) I'm going to be happily serving my Savior instead of cursing Cars and daydreaming of the next minute I get for me. :)

Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. Whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave. That is what the Son of Man has done; He came to serve, not to be served-and then to give away his life in exchange for many who are held hostage."
Matthew 10:44-45 The Message


Stacey said...

I love my wife.

angie said...

Amen and amen!

Woodbury Family said...

Thank you for this - very encouraging!!

Katy said...

Oh what a testimony this is to me today! (and every day!) Thanks for your honesty, and I've got your back on feeling like that alot. :) You're not alone. BUT---I can tell you one thing---I agree--I would NEVER give it up. Love you!!!

shannonmichaelis said...

Caryn, I truly think it's the show that you are watching these days. Maybe you should watch something other than a dancing show that i still don't seem to get? :-) Truthfully, a great word and a reminder that we must strive to be the ultimate disciples of Christ. Press on, finish the race, and in heaven, there will our rest come. Love you sweet friend!

Sarah said...

Oh Caryn, even though I had heard you share this last week, it was a blessing to read your thoughts and what God is showing you. No matter what stage of life we are in, we all battle the struggle with selfishness. Thank you for sharing and for being a great example!