Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Great Day!

We had our 12 week checkup today and got to see our babies. They were both PERFECT and doing beautifully. It is absolutely amazing to see two little people moving around and thriving inside of you. One baby had the hick-ups and the other was sucking it's hand. So crazy to see all that activity and not be able to feel a thing. Both babies had a heart beat of 164 and were measuring 12 weeks 6 days. We also found out the babies are fraternal, not identical twins. No doubt yesterdays appointment made things feel more real than ever!! :)

Baby A
Baby B
I have really struggled this month with letting my heart worry about all the worst case scenarios that could have taken place this at this appointment. With our first pregnancy we went in for our twelve week checkup with no signs of anything wrong to find the baby with no heartbeat. That experience has left me a little anxious about any 12 week checkup, but typically I am able to trust the Lord with whatever the outcome might be, without letting my imagination get the best of me. With this pregnancy however, I have struggled to surrender that control completely to Him.

I would surrender my thoughts to the Lord and ask him to bear the burden for me only to relinquish it back the next day. I was constantly reminding myself of His word, His promises and His character - that he LOVES me and that He LOVES my babies that he created them and He has numbered there days - that He is in control - that there is nothing I can do to earn this gift and so on. After several weeks of this back and forth I really felt the holy spirit convicting me to stop trying to write my own story. Because it isn't mine to write, and God's version is always SO much better than mine. Finally I was able to release the worry and control I had held so tightly to. It's embarrassing to admit how long it took me to get there, but I am grateful for the lesson, even if it isn't the first time I've had to learn it.

Yesterday before our appointment I felt completely calm and excited, something that had nothing to do with me and everything to do with God's grace and protection. I realize that is easy to say after a perfect appointment. But I'd like to think that regardless of how yesterday had gone my heart was in a place that would have allowed me to see God in the midst of any circumstance.

Here I am at 12 weeks


Self Family said...

oh sweet friend, I love your honest, humble heart and I would have the exact same struggle. so thankful your babies are PERFECT and God is working in your heart thruout their growing. What a gift to be growing along side your little ones. Praying for you, for them, and for your family. Love the posts!!

Shannon said...

Chills from head to toe, Sweet Terry! I already love these two babies so much and cannot wait to walk this fun road with you. I too, love your honest heart and can only imagine how tough it is to place that worry at the foot of Jesus! I just loved this post and am so thankful for yesterday's appointment and all the JOY it brought! Thank you Jesus!

Shannon said...

By the way, I know Jesus has two feet. I meant...FEET of Jesus!

Mindy said...

What a wonderful post! What a precious miracle from God...your babies are already PRECIOUS!!! You look amazing, friend!

Alissa said...

I feel ya. I'm have an appointment Friday as I was out of town next week. I've felt myself staying up all night this week playing, what if? Glad they're both growing and doing well. Also glad to see you have a belly, because I've got one now and everyone keeps saying, you're only 13 weeks! Praying for the anxiousness!

angie said...

What a fantastic post! I love seeing those perfect precious profiles:-). I cannot believe how big they already look. You are an amazing mom and I am so thankful for your little miracles. I am also thankful for the Peace that only comes from the Lord:).
You look soooo pretty prego! Xoxo

Katy said...

You look so beeeeautiful, Cary!! I can't believe how far along those little peanuts already are! wow! I just canNOT wait to meet them. How blessed you are! hugs!

The Junods said...

So glad SB dried up my tears with the "feet" comment! Whew! First of all the pictures are beautiful. You and both babies. Every single time I lay eyes on an US pic I get chills and I'm amazed. That feeling of pain went so deep but how much greater has God's mercy been since that first pregnancy. We love our babies differently b/c of that heartbreaking experience. We'd have always loved and appreciated pregnancy and their lives but now it means so much more. Double the pleasure, double the fun...Double the blessing, Sister! I love you and thank the Lord for your babies!

shannonmichaelis said...

Emotional reading this. Thankful for your double portion that the Lord has blessed you with. Cannot wait to meet these gals/fellas in no time!